剛加班回來, 看到J的陽光補習班作業, 差點笑到翻! 真是佩服這小妮子的寫作能力! 加油添醋真是一流! 扭曲事實更是厲害! 這禮拜的寫作主題是寫關於父母的故事, 但是不能寫關於她們的小孩 (這是甚麼限制! ) 所以, 前兩天就跟J 說了些自己小時候的事, 於是, 今晚, J 的寫作主題就是"我的娘"!
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"我的娘" 第一段: My mom grew up in a high rise/apartment. Her mom had 4 children and my mom was the oldest one, she had 2 little sisters and one little brother. Her family was poor so treats were only given when the kids were being nice, but, for treats, because they were poor, they had to share the treats fairly. 我的娘住在一個高樓公寓. 她的娘有四個小孩, 而我娘是最老的一個! 她有兩個妹妹和一個弟弟. 她家很窮, 所以只有表現好的時候才有小點心可以吃, 可是, 因為很窮, 所以連小點心都要公平的分享!
"我的娘" 第二段-做不完的工作: My grandparents (My mom’s parents) work at daytime, also, my grandfather drove a taxi at night till 12:00. My grandmother owned a toy shop. 我的阿公阿嬤白天要上班, 阿公晚上要開計程車到12點. 我的阿嬤開一家小小的玩具店. (這個聽起來, 怎麼像是"愛上巧克力"的洪爸&洪媽咧?)
It’s not the kind where you open a door and walk around and then go to the check out desk and walk back out with you things in a nice little bag. My grandmother was too poor to own a store like that. She took the toys my mom and her siblings didn’t want and put them onto a table on the sidewalk. 這玩具店不是像一般的店, 有門可以開, 進去可以走走看看. 我的阿嬤真是太窮了, 無法開這樣的店! 她只能把我媽和弟妹不要的玩具放在一張桌上, 然後擺在路邊賣! (這... 這... 這不是 yard sale 嗎???!!!! )
After school, my mom would help her mom by giving the change, the toys and collecting the money. 我媽放學後會回家幫忙顧"店"!
"我的娘" 第三段- 高中都沒畢業: My grandmother didn’t
finish high-school and already married. 我的阿嬤還沒讀完高中就結婚了 (喂!
阿嬤聽起來像是不良少女咧! 其實阿嬤是小學畢業就出來打工幫忙家計一直到適婚年齡好嗎?)
When my mother was in high-school she had to drop out for a while so her mom could finish high-school and college. While my grandmother was doing these things, my mom had to run the shop, make the food and clean the house. 當我娘高中時, 她必須輟學讓她娘回去上高中和大學, 當她娘忙於學業時, 我娘必須經營玩具店, 煮飯和持家! (喂! 妳娘沒有高中輟學好嗎?! 但是妳阿嬤也無緣念大學... >_< 妳娘念高中時, 已經沒有玩具可以賣了!!!! )
When my mom’s mom was finally finished with college my mom continued high-school and went to America for college. Later on my dad came to America for college in the same school as my mom. They met and slowly became friends and loved each other. 當我娘的娘終於大學畢業, 我娘得以繼續完成高中, 然後來美國上大學! 然後我的爹也到美國的同一個大學, 他們終於慢慢的變成朋友, 然後交往!! (抱歉! J, 阿嬤還是沒機會上大學, 娘是在台灣念完高中和大學才到美國來的, 還有, 你爹比妳娘更早到美國! )
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When my mother was in high-school she had to drop out for a while so her mom could finish high-school and college. While my grandmother was doing these things, my mom had to run the shop, make the food and clean the house. 當我娘高中時, 她必須輟學讓她娘回去上高中和大學, 當她娘忙於學業時, 我娘必須經營玩具店, 煮飯和持家! (喂! 妳娘沒有高中輟學好嗎?! 但是妳阿嬤也無緣念大學... >_< 妳娘念高中時, 已經沒有玩具可以賣了!!!! )
When my mom’s mom was finally finished with college my mom continued high-school and went to America for college. Later on my dad came to America for college in the same school as my mom. They met and slowly became friends and loved each other. 當我娘的娘終於大學畢業, 我娘得以繼續完成高中, 然後來美國上大學! 然後我的爹也到美國的同一個大學, 他們終於慢慢的變成朋友, 然後交往!! (抱歉! J, 阿嬤還是沒機會上大學, 娘是在台灣念完高中和大學才到美國來的, 還有, 你爹比妳娘更早到美國! )
"我的娘" 第四段- 公主和王子結婚了: My mom and dad married on 8/15 (八月十五的那一天, 船要離開琉球港.... 每年的這一天, 都讓我這首"行船人的純情曲"...)
First they married in Taiwan and married again in Taiwan (Without breaking up) because they liked Taiwan’s ways of taking pictures. They got clear pictures. 首先, 他們在台灣結婚了. 然後又再台灣結一次婚 (沒有分手), 只是因為他們喜歡台灣的婚紗照! 他們拿到很漂亮的婚紗照!! ( 聽起來, 你爹娘好像犯了重婚罪, 但是每拍一次婚紗, 不表示就結過一次婚喔! 要不然, 有人每五年 , 十年就拍一次, 不是婚要結昏頭了嗎?! )
First they married in Taiwan and married again in Taiwan (Without breaking up) because they liked Taiwan’s ways of taking pictures. They got clear pictures. 首先, 他們在台灣結婚了. 然後又再台灣結一次婚 (沒有分手), 只是因為他們喜歡台灣的婚紗照! 他們拿到很漂亮的婚紗照!! ( 聽起來, 你爹娘好像犯了重婚罪, 但是每拍一次婚紗, 不表示就結過一次婚喔! 要不然, 有人每五年 , 十年就拍一次, 不是婚要結昏頭了嗎?! )
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這叫闔家照, 不是爸媽再婚照!!
"我的娘" 結語- After my mom was done telling me the
story, I was about to pull my hair out because there were so many
questions and things that made me go nuts because she had to quit
high-school and cook food and then this happens and that happens and uh
OOHHI it just goes on and on and on, BUT I HOPE YOU LIKED MY STORY!
THANK YOU FOR READING! 聽完了我娘的故事後, 我都快抓狂了, 因為有這麼多的問題和事情讓我快瘋了!
她必須高中輟學回家煮飯, 然後事情不斷的發生...... (看完妳寫的故事後, 老娘也快發瘋了! 原來老娘一生早已注定這麼命苦~
現在終於知道為甚麼到半夜都還睡不著了...... ! )
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"我的娘" 讀後感 - 看過了J 寫的故事後, 才發現:
原來J 娘的爹娘應該可以算是"不敗一族"的早期成員! 如果要寫故事的話, 不敗阿公和不敗阿嬤可以寫成8點檔本土大劇! 第一集的內容概要是:
不敗阿公出身於整條街都是黑道的地方, 但是他不是黑道! 他皮膚黑是因為鄰居平日在喬事情的時候, 他一個人帶著課本和游泳圈,
漂浮在海上念書而曬黑的! 而不敗阿嬤雖然出身於當地大家族, 但因重男輕女的觀念和身為三個女兒中間的那一個, 變成家中最沒地位,
但又得一肩挑起照顧弟妹, 張羅家事, 小學畢業後出去工作, 幫忙維持家計! 然後經過了八十集的辛苦, 最後成為終隱山林, 白天看股票,
晚上看七星潭的不敗阿公和阿嬤!
等八十集的本土劇演完後, 接檔的是J娘的四十集"不敗女孩超級偶像劇"! 保證看完120集以後, 大家都跟J 一樣 -- "pulling hairs and going nuts! "(發瘋抓狂!) 哈哈哈!
等八十集的本土劇演完後, 接檔的是J娘的四十集"不敗女孩超級偶像劇"! 保證看完120集以後, 大家都跟J 一樣 -- "pulling hairs and going nuts! "(發瘋抓狂!) 哈哈哈!
) 
不打會過期, 一打按日計費, 很嚇人咧! 還好, 正紅咦使用T-Mobile已久, 介紹豬頭媽 T-Mobile的預付計畫, 而且三個月30分鐘只要US$10. 這樣, 一個月只要US$3.5 = 台幣$100 就可以買個安心, 而且以後JJ有需要時就可以帶在身上, 豬頭媽也可放心! 
: JJ, 妳怎麼會笨呢? 如果你笨笨, 那你怎麼會兩種語言咧? 你看, 你會中文, 也會英文, 很厲害啊! 
有嗎?
不過 , 龍貓說的有理, 如果今天換作我, 我也會大發雷霆, 而且在很久以前就會發了, 不會等到幾年後才發!!! 漸漸的, 當問龍貓問題時, 豬會先思考選項, 然後再決定要不要開口給龍貓選! 
面對空前的勝利, JJ乘勝追擊: 媽咪, 妳老是這樣, 拔拔也是, 你可不可以去跟拔拔說以後也不要這樣? ?? 
